Sadly Becoming Reality

This weekend is tax free weekend to purchase school supplies. The stores have been packed with excited children and frantic parents. The shelves are lined with the coolest new bookbags, folders, and pencils. As a teacher, the sight of this only leads me to one conclusion.... summer beak is almost over. Every other year I have been overjoyed to return to school. I absolutely love the anticipation of what my students will be like and I look forward to our journey together.

I consider myself to be career and goal oriented, and I absolutely love my job. Before having Owen I always knew that I would want to be a working mom. I enjoy making a difference in the lives of children and I also love the challange that my job brings.

With that said, I never realized how hard it would be to leave my beautiful, perfect baby in the hands of someone other than me. I can't even explain how fortunate I am to have Josh, my mom and mother in law taking care of Owen while I am at work. I know that he is in amazingly good hands, they just aren't my hands and for me that is just plain awful.

Since the day he was born, I knew that going back to school this year would be painful and challenging, but I didn't know the extent of it. On Friday, I brought Owen up to school and picked up a stack of things to do over the weekend. Before I started getting Owen ready for bed, I got out all my supplies and quickly realized what was soon going to take place.

As I was rocking Owen to sleep the tears started streaming down my face. It seems like yesterday we were coming home fom the hospital. Here we are four months later and soon I am going to have to leave my baby all day long. If I could, part of me would like to run as fast as I can away from school. Knowing that isn't an option is hard, but I hear that it will get easier and I can only pray that is true!

Tomorrow we start our typical school routine and wake up time. I hope that I have the strength to be the best momma, wife, teacher and friend possible because the people that need me and love me deserve nothing short of Super Woman.

I'm still looking forward to this school years journey, it is just through cloudy teared up eyes as the closeness of events is sadly becoming reality.